My break-up letter to 2008

Dear 2008,

I think you already know why I’m writing this letter. I apologize for not having this done earlier, but I think now is the right time.

2008, it doesn’t take a genius to see that our relationship isn’t really working. Ever since you and I started dating, things have gone downhill. When we hooked up, I had just gotton out of a turbulent relationship with 2007. I was vulnerable and in hopes to find something better, I joined you.

At the start, we got along fine, didn’t we? It was a bit cold, but the sun shone down on me and everyone around us two. You looked like a promising man that could give me a lot of happiness.

Typical men.

Soon, I got to see your true face. While dating you, the price of a oil barrel hit 100 dollars and the price of food boomed, creating unrest in the Third World. As if that wasn’t enough, Benazir Bhutto was assassinated, you took away the only small hope for Pakistan away, you took Musharraf away and instead put Zardari in charge? I knew then, that you and I couldn’t get along.

But, 2008, I was stuck with you. You didn’t let me leave, always making up for your screw-ups with small gifts. Either it was a day with extra hours of sunshine, or a random drop in the oil prices or the release of a seriously good Batman movie.

You also had your little perks, that made you so attractive. A black man was running for president, USA was exposed in the military failure in Iraq and my father finally figured out how to cook. There were days when I only saw smiles, only heard good music and kindness seemed to finally have arrived. 

You were a good man at times 2008. You gave me the chance to see Shahrukh’s hot body. You gave me the chance to deny that Wentworth Miller was gay. You even gave me the chance to buy a small black, hot, sexy dress, and I thank you for that 2008, no other man would have let me do that.

You  made me feel so good at times 2008, you have no idea. I could strut down the street with my head high, my long, black hair hanging freely and my mouth smiling. You taught me that yes, I could walk in heels. You taught me that yes, I am good enough. You put a small ego in me and you made me feel like as if I was on the top of the world.

My last year in high school was tough, but you gave me friends whom will remain with me the rest of my life. Some men tend to cut off their girlfriends from their friends. But not you, you encouraged me to meet up with my friends, you encouraged me to go out and have fun. 

Sadly, small gifts, doesn’t make up for all the times you made me cry. The time where bombs blew up in Iraq, you made me cry. The time when markets around the world collapsed, you made me cry (sort of). The time India’s hotels shook, you made me cry. The times Kashmir wailed, you made me cry. The times when Gaza screamed, you made me cry. 

You broke me down into pieces, chanting that I wasn’t worth it. You stepped on me, and walked all over me. You gave me pain that no words can express well enough.

It’s sad, 2008, because I wanted to love you. I wanted to share myself with you. I wanted us to be happy. But you obviously had other plans.

I think we cannot go on like this anymore 2008. I know you’ve tried making it up by dropping the oil prices and giving a black guy the key to the White House, but Pakistan is still suffering. You haven’t done anything for Pakistan, and a man who can’t do anything for Pakistan, cannot do anything for me.

It breaks my heart to say that you and I are over. I wish you would have listened to me 2008, because then I wouldn’t have had my eyes on other men.

Yes. There is someone else now.

I’m meeting with this other guy now..2009 is his name. The only reason why I could survive your tyranny was because this new guy, 2009, kept telling me to hold on.

And now I’m leaving you.

You have been a good man 2008, you have, but you didn’t appreciate me or the people around me. And that’s why I’m bidding farewell.

You are my past 2008 and I am moving on. I suggest you do the same thing.

But one thing is for sure. Thanks for making me a fighter.

Lots of best wishes,

Mamashal (( desi diva ))

Why women fall for bad boys

This is actually inspired by the post that Aman, the blogger of http://technomemorabilia.blogspot.com/ wrote on my blog regarding my “My love/hate relationship with men” post :

” I have noticed that women seem to fall for the “dangerous” or the “wrong” guys … and the good guys are left in the lurch thinking that maybe they need to be wrong and dangerous”

And to state the fact, he is completely right. Women do tend to fall for bad boys. Doesn’t matter if it’s the shy woman, the bold woman, the dependent woman or the independent woman, she will fall for a bad boy at least once in her lifetime. 

The question is why?

The general image is that bad boys usually tend to give out the vibe of control and authority. A bad boy will be proud of himself, not afraid to take risks, and independent. According to various psychologists and relationship experts such as Judi James state that women are biologically “programmed” to find men who give out powerful body movements and signals. Believe it or not, women also seem to have a biological need to seek males with powerful personalities. 

So men around the world stand by and see women go ga-ga over men like Wentworth Miller, Johnny Depp, John Abraham, , Collin Farell/Farrel (I never know how to spell his name) and Daniel Craig. Men wonder if women really like tattooed torsos, if women really like shrubby beards, if women really like men who’ve had “some” experience with other women, and if women seriously want their men to go drive an audi, while shooting some dude in the car behind him and still be able to make some serious good love-making afterwards.

Not really.

What men tend to forget is that there is a big difference between fantasy bad boy and reality bad boy.

A fantasy bad boy is the man with the mysterious eyes, a proud personality, attitude, knows how to hustle and is street wise so no one dares to screw him over.

A reality bad boy is a man involved in serious crime, guns, drugs, women, police and has a unhealthy habit to be unpredictable. 

A fantasy bad boy may have hustled in his younger days, may have spent a day or two behind bars for something stupid like getting into a small fight, he may very well have had numerous girlfriends.

A reality bad boy may have spent months and years behind bars for crime like murder, he may get into serious fights, has had countless of women around him, even when he is supposedly dating, and is involved in the drug/weapon business.

If you actually take a break and observe the bad boys that women fall for, you’ll see that in the bottom line, these bad boys have strong, powerful personalities with the image that they’ll protect their woman at any cost.

Let me elaborate using my three fav. bad boys.

Bad Boy nr. 1: John Abraham

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Johnny boy here has enchanted many girls and women around the world due to his looks and bad-ass attitude in movies. In real life, he’s settled down with long term girlfriend, Bipasha Basu.

 

Bad Boy nr.2: Shawn “Jay-z” Carter.

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Maybe a surprise to some. Jay Z isn’t you’re total dream hottie but his personality and style is Hot with a capital H. Jigga man has attitude and as released songs like “Girls, Girls, Girls” and “Big Pimpin”. In real life, he’s has had a troubled childhood with a single mom and the streets being his home. Today, he’s married his long term girlfriend, Beyonce Knowels, admits he wants to start a family, and Jay and Beyonce are the richest couple in Hollywood today according to Forbes Magazine. Sweet eh?   

 

Bad Boy nr.3: Wentworth Miller

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You know it was coming. You know him, I know him, you’re boyfriend knows him and you’re girlfriend definitely knows him. He plays a smart fugitive on the run with a tattooed torso. In real life he has a BA in English Literature from Princeton University, doesn’t like to party and likes playing scrabble. :)  

See the pattern?

Not many women fall for men into real crime. Not many women are willing to live with a man while he sleeps here and there climbing as many chimneys as possible, if you know what I mean. Not many women are willing to hear gunshots outside their house. Not many women are willing to be surrounded by guns and drugs.

Today, women seem to fall for the image of bad boys. But in truth, as said before, women seek strong, protective males. And a bad boy seems to illuminate that image.

So, I hope men know now. Now, if you don’t mind…I have to search the internet for a new Jay-Z poster since my mom “accidentally” ripped my last one in half while “carefully” taking it off from my wall.

All I can say is that my mom has a complicated relationship with Jay-Z. At least she said, “Ok, me and your father will strongly consider buying you tickets to a Jay-Z concert when he starts his new world tour”.

Being a kid of Desi parents, the consideration alone is a big thing :P

Until next time,

Mamashaal (( desi diva ))

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